downlows

I've had a tough week. Heck, I'd go as far as to say I've had a tough year. It's been a rough ride, but! I'm hoping that I can commit to this 2 week challenge, and then, maybe [hopefully] push through for another 2 weeks after that.

I made a personal goal to drink more water/less pop. It's been hard, and I'm not where I want to be. I'm getting there though - the pop has made less of an appearance in the last two weeks.
I'm finding myself making better...smarter choices. Instead of opting to make fast food runs for work lunches, I've packed [healthy] instead. It pushes me to make better choices for Hailey as well, which is equally important. Now if only I can keep it up.

This week's goal is not so much of a move it/lose it type one. This week, I want to focus on the kid. This last week has been a tough one for her, I'm not sure what the problem was, but her attitude was definitely not the greatest. She pushes my buttons in a way that I'm not proud of. I've lost my patience more than once this week, and it's not at all like me. It's left me feeling like a less than stellar parent, I'll admit. I'm at the end, everything I've tried, I've failed miserably with. I don't know what to do anymore. If anybody has any suggestions on how to handle a temperamental attitude filled five year old, I'm all for hearing them.
I'm hoping, with a little more positive attention and maybe the opportunity to get outside in the sunshine, we'll have a better week.

re.start.

I've been gone for so long, coming back has been twice as hard. I have a million things I could write, but honestly, I'm not so sure how to put into words the things that I'm feeling or thinking.


I've struggled with the "healthy" aspect of things. I don't eat as much junk, I guess. But lately, I've struggled with eating much at all.  


I feel anxious, most days. On edge, as though, at any second, a ticking bomb could go off.


I'm happy, but sometimes I wonder, worry, if it's enough. 
Am I enough?


The self confidence is lacking.
& there comes the truth. 


Luckily, I can start over. Fresh. Clean.


So here I am. Brushing all the bad, the down, the lacking away. Because no matter how many times I have to start over, I'm doing it.


Tomorrow's goal? More water. Simple enough, yes?