on the go.

I'd say I have two non scale victories to raise the roof with today. The first being that I cooked multiple meals this week. Like, real meals. This is huge, because well, this girl doesn't cook. It is what it is.

The second is that somehow, everyday this week, with the exception of yesterday (because most of the day was spent playing in the water with no pedometer on me) I went over 12,000 steps. I've slacked on real workouts, but I'm still moving. I'm chasing kids around the playground. I'm climbing steps, slides, ladders. I'm running bases during a game of baseball. Our newest love at work is Ga-ga, and it definitely keeps me moving. The kids love it, and honestly, I guess I do too.

The crazy hot weather here has my appetite down. I'm eating healthy, that's not the problem. It's that I'm just too busy, or too hot/sweaty/tired to find the will to eat. I'm finding little things that work better for me: easy to grab snacks on the go, extra water bottles always ready to grab. It's helping, slowly.

I stepped on the scale this morning. I'm less than 5 pounds from hitting my first weight goal. It's a bittersweet feeling that I can't really explain.

And somehow, it's nearly midnight so this shall end in as weird of a way as it started.

This post is sponsored by Joy Feldman and hosted by Mamavation – a community dedicated to obesity prevention & weight loss for women and I’m writing this to be entered into a giveaway.

stuck.

It's twenty to midnight and somehow I'm just now finding the time...or push to write. I haven't written in a while - it seems this always happens - I have a streak where I'm with it and post before Monday comes. And then, there are a handful of weeks where I...just don't have it in me.

I struggle. I'm struggling. A lot. I'm at a point in my life where I should be happy. Where, let's be honest, I AM happy. But it still feels like I'm seconds from crashing and tumbling down all the steps I just climbed.

I've been doing...better with the eating. I find myself choosing healthier snacks and meals. I drink pop, occasionally - not nearly as much as I once did though, which I consider an accomplishment.

I should weighin, but I can't seem to find the energy or want to. 

I'm in a rut. I'm stuck. That's just all there is to it.

It happens, right?

Here & There

Sticking with a plan is something that's tough for me. By the time I get the good for me habit down, it seems like there is always something that comes up that requires me to change things.
I write lists like it's my job, but following through is something that I have never been that great at. So, it's what I'm working on right now. A simple daily list, filled with things I usually do anyways, as some kind of "hey, I CAN cross this off my list!" type thing. Maybe that's what I need. Hopefully it helps.

The 2 week challenge workouts are at the top of my list. Water, steps, and most importantly - positive thinking.

The positive thinking is a HUGE thing for me. Instead of pointing out all the bad, instead of acknowledging the things Hailey does wrong, I'm trying to focus on the things she does that are good. She put dirty laundry in the basket instead of leaving it on the floor? Way to go! She didn't throw a fit while at the store? Whoohoo!
I'm not an expert, but so far it's working.

This weekend is full of birthday celebrations -the little one turns FIVE tomorrow. Yesterday, we went to Chuck E Cheese's, where we all split a pizza. I did have a cup of mountain dew, BUT followed it up with 2 cups of water.
Today is her birthday party. We're doing sandwiches, so nothing too unhealthy. I'm not a fan of cake, so no temptations there!

I posted on the forums, but I'll add it here: I'm attempting to do more cooking, but need some suggestions of easy to make recipes. So share away!

This post is sponsored by Dole and hosted by Mamavation – a community dedicated to obesity prevention & weight loss for women and I’m writing this to be entered into a giveaway.

downlows

I've had a tough week. Heck, I'd go as far as to say I've had a tough year. It's been a rough ride, but! I'm hoping that I can commit to this 2 week challenge, and then, maybe [hopefully] push through for another 2 weeks after that.

I made a personal goal to drink more water/less pop. It's been hard, and I'm not where I want to be. I'm getting there though - the pop has made less of an appearance in the last two weeks.
I'm finding myself making better...smarter choices. Instead of opting to make fast food runs for work lunches, I've packed [healthy] instead. It pushes me to make better choices for Hailey as well, which is equally important. Now if only I can keep it up.

This week's goal is not so much of a move it/lose it type one. This week, I want to focus on the kid. This last week has been a tough one for her, I'm not sure what the problem was, but her attitude was definitely not the greatest. She pushes my buttons in a way that I'm not proud of. I've lost my patience more than once this week, and it's not at all like me. It's left me feeling like a less than stellar parent, I'll admit. I'm at the end, everything I've tried, I've failed miserably with. I don't know what to do anymore. If anybody has any suggestions on how to handle a temperamental attitude filled five year old, I'm all for hearing them.
I'm hoping, with a little more positive attention and maybe the opportunity to get outside in the sunshine, we'll have a better week.

re.start.

I've been gone for so long, coming back has been twice as hard. I have a million things I could write, but honestly, I'm not so sure how to put into words the things that I'm feeling or thinking.


I've struggled with the "healthy" aspect of things. I don't eat as much junk, I guess. But lately, I've struggled with eating much at all.  


I feel anxious, most days. On edge, as though, at any second, a ticking bomb could go off.


I'm happy, but sometimes I wonder, worry, if it's enough. 
Am I enough?


The self confidence is lacking.
& there comes the truth. 


Luckily, I can start over. Fresh. Clean.


So here I am. Brushing all the bad, the down, the lacking away. Because no matter how many times I have to start over, I'm doing it.


Tomorrow's goal? More water. Simple enough, yes?

& here we go.

My life is filled with crazy. It happens. I deal.
I've made a reoccuring pledge to myself to better my life, and hopefully help better the lives of those around me as well.

I want to be healthy. And being healthy comes with lifestyle changes, for me. I want to get up and move more. And, more importantly for me, eat healthier.

I'm the kind of girl who works better with a schedule, with some kind of list in front of me. So I've started writing down schedules. I'm making a list of workouts. Things I want to accomplish daily, even if it's as simple as 40 pushups, or something like that.
Along with the workouts, I'm going to try to change what I'm eating. It's work, and it's not easy, but I'm confident that with a little push, I can do this.

I've always been a private person. I'm quiet, I don't share what I'm thinking or feeling with very many people, so for me to create a blog and open up to the world has been incredibly difficult. My ultimate hope in doing this is that maybe it'll give me not only a little support and guidance, but also a way to be held accountable. If I tell the world that I want to eat healthier and workout more, then there's somebody out there who can question whether or not it happen, rather than me keeping it all in and not being called out when something I've said I'm going to do...doesn't get done.

That's where you come in, my friend. Don't be afraid to cheer me on [I need it.] Don't be afraid to offer advice [also much needed.] - What works for you? How do you work past the busy-ness and find the time to focus on yourself?
And just as importantly, don't be afraid to call me out if I'm not doing what I've said I'm going to do.

Here we go.